Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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