I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize