Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
