brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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