if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
