one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Mom said you looked used
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
