nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
