why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
