Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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