i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
