Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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