I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize