who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Terrible idea I love it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
