i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
