oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
