After last night, I could never be a politician.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
