I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize