even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize