Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You can't motorboat a personality
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
