it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
