how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
