I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
