He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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