i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
