i think my tv is drunk
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
