a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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