Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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