Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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