i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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