I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
you never un-have a 4some
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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