you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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