I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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