So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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