Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
soo... how was my night?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
