could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
