the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
His nipple licking is glorious
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