I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
