Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
