i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
