i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
