Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
