I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Dignity is for republicans.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
