oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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