Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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