Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
