he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
