I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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