coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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