after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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