operation have a gay friend backfired
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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