Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize