If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
