kristin has been a bad kristin
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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