i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
