I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
