Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
as a side note pls kill me
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
