They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
