Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
