I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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