i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
