I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize