these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
