All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I think I sprained my soul last night
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
