Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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