why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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