I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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